Okay.  You just filed for divorce and if this is your first one, you are probably wondering what is going to happen next.  If you are using a divorce attorney, they may have provided you with an overview of the process, or perhaps they just listened to your complaining (here’s a free divorce tip: never complain to your lawyer; they are not a therapist, and they charge a lot). But, they may not have.  You’re clueless and confused about what will come next.

Well, the first thing that will happen after you formally file divorce paperwork at the court is that your spouse will get served with the paperwork.  Its due process; they are entitled to know there is a divorce proceeding being initiated against them.  If they have not figured it out that you are seeking a divorce, get ready for a major hurricane of hate coming your way.

You’ll here it all:  “what did I do?”, “I didn’t know you weren’t happy”, “I’ll change”, or the inevitable “who is he/she?”.  You’ll be accused of being a monster one minute and be begged to stay the next.  You caught your spouse off guard and they are going to be defensive and attack like much like a wounded animal would.

But after that, it’s pretty much paperwork.  You’ll need to fill out financial disclosures (yes, you’ll have to disclose that secret bank account).  You’ll then have depositions and wait a long time before anything else happens. Then one day in about 6 months (if you have an uncomplicated divorce) you’ll have a court date and the judge will split you assets then you are divorce to go live your life.

Having a plan in divorce is going to be the key.  For women, we highly recommend the guide called Divorce Advice For Women.  For men, we recommend the DivorcedDadsSurvivalGuide.com, written by David Duggins.