We all know that divorce happens.  The divorce rate in the US is over 50%.  But what you may not realize is that while more women initiate the divorce, its the men that lose the most.  It’s by design, too.

The court system favors women in divorce.  It is especially true that a woman almost ultimately prevails in a child custody battle.  Granted there are the few occasions that men get custody (when they prove the wife was abusive, or having inappropriate relations – sex – in front of the children).  The norm, however, is that the men gets the shaft when divorcing.

It may be just a reflection of society that men and divorce laws are in conflict.  It may be as simple as stating that since men typically make more money than women that they contributed more to the marital estate.  Thus, when the estate is divided, by definition, then, men loses more.  It could be that simple.

But there is also a truth that often goes untold.  Men are often in a much better position to recover much more quickly from a divorce.  It is often the case that women – when no kids are involved – find their next husband quicker than men find their next wife.  The woman will often just substitute your paycheck with the paycheck of someone else.  Men, however, will be cautious and will enjoy their freedom longer than women.

It is also true that men going through divorce will often find the freedom overwhelming and will go to extremes in emotions and activity.  But men and divorce is also a recipe for financial disaster.  The truth is that men will take a bath short term when it comes to money.  The courts will give most of the cash to the woman.  But give the income producing assets to the men.  So, while the wife may laugh at the man while walking out of the courtroom, thinking she’s totally gotten over, the husband may have the laugh last.

The car she spent so much money on attorney fees to deprive you of is a depreciable asset and it will fall apart.  While that investment property you were awarded triples in value. It may be the case that the man takes a bath in the short term, it is often the case that the women will end up getting hers in the long run.

Sure, there are exceptions.  No doubt.  But men and divorce judgments are just the first step to determine who comes out ahead. Don’t be fooled to think that just because that BMW, that your wife told you was a mistake to buy, won’t become the center of litigation.  If you like it, she’ll want it.  Perhaps the best thing men need to learn in a divorce is to not fight to win the battle, but fight to win the war.  Let her have the BMW, but get the income producing assets.  Let her have the golf club, but get the stocks.

It’s unfortunate that men in divorces come out losers, but ultimately, men will recover quickly and will just move on.