Divorce Mistakes

Divorce Mistakes are made each and every single day of the year by both sides (men and women).  We’ve assembled the most common mistakes made in divorce and listed them below.

Mistake #1: Taking action without obtaining sound advice.

Divorces are full of financial, emotional, and spiritual pitfalls. A guide such as the DivorcedDadsSurvivalGuide, and many others can start you of with a plan, and some time tested advice.   Once you have a basic game plan, you’ll be much better suited to move forward.

Mistake #2: Moving out of the matrimonial home.

The decision to move out of your current home is a major one. Moving out of the house has very serious legal consequences.  You should not move out until you consult with a lawyer, or trusted advisor.  Minimally, you need to understand what happens when you do so.  Please consider all the facts of your case. By moving out, you could can reduce  your right to keep the home or to have custody of your children.

Mistake #3: Failing to realize the importance of the status quo.

One of the most important concepts in family law, and divorce is that of the status quo. The courts hate  changing the way things are going, unless it is clear that there is a huge  problem. For instance, if you make any kind of payments to your spouse without a court order, it will become very difficult to convince a court that you cannot afford to continue making the payments.  Keep this in mind.

Mistake #4: Making decisions while you are depressed or upset about your divorce.

A divorce is a very emotional and difficult time. It is very important (to the extent possible) to only make decisions when you have a level head.   If you make decisions when you are depressed or upset, you can very easily make bad decisions. Try to make the important decisions about your divorce only when you feel strong, and you’ve thought through all of this issues.

Mistake #5: Getting divorce advice from family and friends.

No doubt you have heard about all the reasons for divorce, and there a lot of urban legends about divorce law. Most of what you have heard is either wrong or flat out dangerous. While your family may have all of the good intentions and want to help you, that does not change the fact that much (perhaps all) of the things they tell you may not be accurate. Just because your friend got the house in his or her divorce does not mean that you will too. There is so much professional divorce advice out there. Seek that out before relying on a family member.

Mistake #6: Using your divorce to punish your former spouse.

This is a very easy and common and easy trap to get involved in.  Not only will this backfire in a major way, but it will cost pain and suffering to your children (assuming you have any).  Keep a level head throughout this process and you’ll end up much further ahead.

Mistake #7: Failing to think strategically.

Thinking strategically means that you plan first before taking action.  Divorce is a fight, no doubt, and engaging in a fight without a plan is going to cost you big time.  You need to decide what is important to you and what isn’t is the key. Its easy to fight about everything, and it even feels good. What is ends up doing is costing you more money and taking on major headache.  It does not make sense to spend $5,000 in legal fees to get $1,000 more in your divorce settlement.

Mistake #8: Being generous to win back your spouse.

Sometimes in divorce, it may seem easier just to get back together.  This could be a major mistake, and one that may keep you in pain much longer.  This strategy simply does not work. If your marriage is over, no amount of generosity is going to win your spouse back.

Mistake #9: Failing to Document

In a highly contested case, the details of what has happened can be particularly important. A journal that contains all the daily events surrounding the divorce will be invaluable when you want to remember what has occurred.

Mistake #10: Overlooking the mediation option.

Divorce mediation is where you and your spouse, together with a mediator, discuss the issues you face in the hopes of reaching a settlement without the time and cost of a lawyer. The mediator is a neutral third party who helps you and your spouse work towards a viable solution of the issues that you are having in your divorce. In almost all cases, mediation may be the quickest and cheapest way of reaching an agreement with your spouse, but it also assumes your spouse agrees to this option.

Finally, before moving forward with any divorce, we implore you to exhaust all possible chances for reconciliation.  Divorce is an ugly and difficult process, and if you are still on the fence about your decision, do yourself a favor and pick up the best guide out there right now, SaveMyMarriageToday.