Divorce strategies for men – How to minimize costs

When it comes to divorce costs, both partners are interested in getting the most convenient deal. For men this usually means not spending more than absolutely necessary and not being ripped off. The average cost of a divorce in the US ranges between $15,000 and $30,000. This includes paying an attorney and all other expenses related to the conventional route of getting a divorce. Are other options for men who don’t want to spend their hard earned money on getting a divorce? The answer is yes. There are many reasons men divorce, and once the decision has been made, its time to plan.   Planning is probably the single biggest element of a divorce, at least in terms of whether you are going to win or lose.  There is a LOT men need to know about divorcing.  For men who want to get a cheap divorce, here’s what they should consider.

1. Mediation. Getting a divorce is a very stressful, time consuming and costly procedure, and men usually get the short end of the stick. That’s why they should be prepared to discuss with their former wives other ways of getting a divorce. Having a mediated divorce will only cost you one third of what a court divorce would, and it will take less time.  Mediation can and does work.
2. Hire a paralegal. Paralegals are not lawyers and they are not authorized by the government to offer legal services. They will not be able to represent you in court, but they have the knowledge and expertise to help you file for divorce and give you professional advice, at a much lower rate than an attorney would. This is another situation when you need to agree with your ex on the terms of the divorce settlement.
3. Minimize time spent with your lawyer. If you have to hire a lawyer, keep in mind that time is money. Remember that during the meeting when both you and your former wife are present. Be prepared before the meeting, do your research, learn the legal terms your lawyer might use, so you don’t waste time while the lawyer explains to you what they mean. Also be careful not to let minor arguments escalate. It would be a good idea to talk to your ex before the meeting and agree on the overall topics you will be discussing.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a PLAN regarding the proper use of your lawyer.  With so much going on, usually this is the last thing that men plan for; and it turns out it is the one element that will cost you the MOST.  An excellent book written on dealing with divorce lawywers and how to play hard ball against them and get them to work for you was written by David Duggins, called the Divorced Dads Survival Guide.   We highly recommend it.
4. Don’t take legal advice from friends. Although they mean well and they might have been through a divorce themselves, friends are not always qualified to give you legal advice. Listening to them might do more harm than good. Keep in mind that divorce laws differ from state to state, and it’s best to get advice from a local lawyer or paralegal.
5. Never send original documents of your financial records. As harsh as it might sound, divorce often turns into a war. You need to keep a clear head and have a strategy in order to have a successful divorce. During the divorce process, your wife’s lawyer will ask you for details of your financial records. Never send the original documents, always make a copy of everything they ask for, and keep the original in a safe place.

Getting a cheap divorce will take more involvement on your part, more research time and communication with your former spouse. It might not be easy, but in the end you will save more money and keep the unpleasant stuff out of court.  Men after divorce also will face a whole slew of challenges, and its important that once this is over, time is spent on these issues.

We’ve recently reviewed all the published material on Divorce Advice and recommend Divorced Dads Survival Guide, as the most comprehensive.