Survival Guide For Men in Divorce

Let’s be honest, divorce can turn into a ruthless fight. And since most divorces are initiated by women, men can be caught by surprise. Being unprepared and not knowing how to react can cost them in the final divorce settlement agreement. For men who have been served with divorce papers and don’t know where to begin, here are some questions that you most definitely need to have an answer for.

Do you really want a divorce? Have a serious talk with your spouse and decide if this is really the end of your marriage. Try everything: marriage counseling, mediation, or even legal separation if you feel like you can’t live together for a while. If you have children, you have more reasons to keep your marriage together. Divorce is a painful and traumatizing experience, so it’s best to avoid getting there if possible.  There are many documented reasons men divorce

Do you need an attorney? Some people are in favor of a do-it-yourself divorce because it is supposed to save both time and money. Many don’t understand the complexity of a divorce and feel that hiring a lawyer is unnecessary. The do-it-yourself option could work for people who have been married for a short period of time and have no kids or for situations when the divorcing spouses are in total agreement regarding child custody, the division of propriety and other aspects in the divorce settlement agreement. For people who are not in that situation and do not feel that they have the strength and knowledge to embark upon such a complicated and time consuming process, it is best to consider a hiring a lawyer.

Finding the right attorney. Once you decided you absolutely need a lawyer to represent you in court, you must decide on the kind of lawyer you want. Do you simply need someone to put the paperwork through, or do you need an aggressive lawyer who will fight to get the best deal for you. Shop around a little. Don’t hire the first one that seems professional enough. Talk to your family and friends, maybe they con recommend someone. Interview at least 3 family law attorneys before making the final decision. Keep in mind that you will depend on that person to defend you in a process that will most definitely affect the rest of your life. Make sure you make the right choice.

Documentation needed. Although you hired someone to take care of your paperwork, it’s best that educate yourself on that matter also. You will need to provide your lawyer with plenty of documents so it’s best you make a list of everything you need. Start gathering all the papers as soon as possible, make copies or ask for duplicates in case you need to. Here’s a list of documents you will need:

• Full names, addresses, phone numbers and social security numbers of both you and your spouse. If you have children, you will also need their birth dates, grades and schools they attend.
• Any document regarding your marriage, like date and county of marriage, prenuptial agreement, documents of former marriages.
• Financial data like: last year’s income tax return, any data related to the IRS, information about your current income, mortgages, credits and liabilities of both spouses.

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